AND other stupid marriage advice that people give you!
I recently came across an article “The worst marriage advice of every decade since the 1900s.” It had a list of books published in those decades which are (in)famous for giving the worst marriage advice of the decade. Some of these books were really bizarre in the kind of advice they gave and while these might seem funny when you first read these, but this is everything that is wrong with the society. There was a book called “How to tame Modern Age woman” and it explained all about how you should tame your wife. There was another another one “If you are a woman, don’t talk about your problems” which explains how a woman is supposed to greet her husband when he comes back from work and why she shouldn’t talk about her problems. And another one that explains how sex solves domestic violence and is a way for men to make up to their wives for beating them and why a good wife should never say No to sex even after violence.
Woahh! This got really dark, really soon and I guess it gives you a pretty good idea of what I am trying to say here.There is a lot of stupid marriage advice that make no sense at all and can easily be included in the “worst marriage advice ever” list. And whether you ask people for marriage advice or not, they WILL give it to you! I consider myself lucky to be born in such a time where we are (at least) talking about gender equality and have strong opinions when it comes to body shaming, sexuality shaming and I think it’s great but there are people giving you all kinds of advice, still!
There are always aunties/colleagues/friends/sisters telling the girl how she has to find the way to her man’s heart and it usually goes through his stomach, so you should cook really good and the man is supposed to fall instantly in love with you the moment he takes first bite of that delicious feast that you’ve cooked for him! Nonsense!
Some of you might think that we are way ahead of those times and I can agree with you here, but really? Have we actually come any far? There still are relatives who tell you how you can control your husband. I remember, on my wedding day, I was given this “good marriage advice” to actually train my husband like I would train my puppy and how you have to actually teach everything to your husband and what is the key to having full control over him! Well, no surprises here, earlier it used to be cooking, then it shifted to sex and some poor girls are still so stuck up on that idea that spicing their sex life up is gonna give them some kind of control over their husband. Well! I don’t really know what to say expect “Are you freakin’ dumb? Did you really think that “sex” is some tool that you can use to put a leash on your husband? Because that’s just stupid!
Then there are some Modern day relationship Gurus who will tell you that even if your other half cheats on you, you should just do the same to them and it should all be okay and you can forget all about it. And some other people who give you really stupid advice which is disguised as good advice. Some one told me how I should support Nitin in every aspect of his life and should actually drive meaningful conversations. But wait! this doesn’t seem like a bad advice at all. But you’d be surprised to hear the second half of that advice. It went some like ” Supporting your husband like this makes him feel that you are the single most important person in his life who truly understands him and who will always be on his side. This way you’d be in a very powerful position where you can take total control over his life and you’d even be able to manipulate him, even in decisions about his parents. And it is even easier in Love marriages!”
I KNOW!! You can’t help but feel sorry about these poor guys who have no idea how they are being manipulated. I don’t mean to say that all wives are like this, because I, for one, am the living proof that the “good wives” do exist. I also don’t want to say that most men are victims because I have only explained one side of the picture, because I have first hand experience in this regard. But I do know for sure that even men get marriage advice from their peers/relatives and all.
Why can’t people actually talk about positive things? Why having this kind of control over their husbands/wives is important for them? What do these people actually teach their kids? Guess there are some things that I and Nitin will never understand. We are the free, crazy kind of couple who believe in raising each other up! And I guess that’s how relationships should be. There is all the marriage advice that makes sense for us!
Have a good weekend!
P.S: I just added to cute feature photo because nothing else about this blog post is cute or funny for that matter, which is sad!