This morning when I woke up, I was just checking my phone and scrolling through my Facebook feed when I came across this post about a Toilet Timer for your husbands. It is similar to an hour glass, only shaped like a man on a toilet and the sand tells you that it has been long enough now, it is now time to get up and move on. It is for all those husbands who disappear into the bathroom and the poor wives don’t know when they are gonna see their husbands again. This is not a joke, really. There have been times when I have woken Nitin up in the morning and he kissed me good morning and then went to the washroom to freshen up and he came back only after I had freshened up, brushed my teeth and ALSO had prepared the breakfast. And I am in no way, someone who has amazing cooking skills and can prepare breakfast in like 10 minutes. I have the cooking skills of a kid and that means I usually take longer to prepare the breakfast. Which means that my husbandman spends a LOT of time on the Toilet!!
And it is mostly because he takes his phone with him and checks out all the social media and news while sitting on the toilet seat only. I swear I am not kidding and I am sure some of you have had similar experiences with your husbands. I have also tried asking him for his phone when he was headed to the washroom in the morning and it really worked! He came back in like 5 minutes.
I often tease him “why do you have to take your phone with you? Why can’t you poop without simultaneously checking out your social media?”
To which, he usually replies “I can! But I just prefer not to!”
“But it is disgusting! Don’t ever text me while pooping”
“Oh! You remember all those sweet good morning texts that you used to blush to? From where do you think I sent those? FROM THE TOILET, WHILE POOPING! OH YEAH! I said that! ”
“Ewww! Why did you have to ruin it for me?”
“Oh!! Why did you have to ruin my toilet time for me? “
There went another discussion about pooping and how much time should a person ideally spend in the toilet. But it is of no use and I know that the next morning he is gonna do exactly the same thing and spend at least half an hour in the toilet. I wish there was another way like this Toilet Timer thing but there is none. And even if we buy a toilet timer, I know that Nitin will just put it in reverse position so that all the sand goes back and he will just repeat the cycle again! Yes, he is SHAMELESS!
In fact he is so shameless that even after all my nagging and teasing and everything, he still enjoys the time in the toilet every morning and I am the one who has to make my peace with it. I have now understood that this is his time and I should probably let him have it. But yea it is only because I have now allowed him to!
I think we have reached a point where I don’t even know what the point of this blog was. But I am sure all the ladies understand how it feels. There are a lot of things about my husband that I find really annoying and I know if I start writing about it, it will be a really long list. I’ll probably save that for another blog!
Until then 🙂
Oh and yea! I know for a fact that I could’ve written this whole blog in the time that Nitin came from the washroom! 😛
Fun FACT: #toomuchinformation : I sent this to Nitin to read before publishing it, and he read it WHILE POOPING! 😀