I was stalking one of my school time friend’s profile and I saw Nitin’s comment on one of her pictures and it suddenly struck me that this is Prakash Aunty’s son. So, Prakash auntie used to be my mother’s very good friend but from the past few years they had lost touch. Nitin had met a very serious accident a few years earlier and since then his parents had been busy with his surgeries and recovery and my parents had been busy dealing with their teenage children and their zillion issues. So when I saw his comment I thought I should maybe talk to him and plan for our mothers to meet because it had been a long time since they last met. Little did I know that things will take such an interesting turn and there will come a time in near future where I’d be willing to do everything just so our mothers don’t meet and talk about the two of us.
So I texted him, added him on Facebook, we started chatting and things that started out very innocently with a sole purpose to make our mothers re-connect, took a turn when I started liking this guy and even more when I felt that he liked me too. Things went on and somehow I felt like this is going too fast. I used to tell myself that “It has been just 3 months since you started talking to this guy and you haven’t even met him yet, you can’t possibly start liking him.”
But my heart had already made its decision, mostly because Talking to Nitin makes my heart happy. I know it might sound cheesy and might not even make sense for some of you ( it didn’t make any sense to me either) but it is true. He had a different way of living his life, he liked to live in the present day. I, on the other hand, always used to plan things ahead, mainly because of what I had been through in the past. I had some trust issues and I was not ready to love someone with all my heart because I feared that I won’t get the same kind of love in return. Now, people will say that love is not about seeking something in return, but let’s be practical here, only mothers are capable of giving that unconditional love.
But then I met Nitin and he loved me for the person that I was and for the things I had been through in the past. In fact, in a way, he taught me how to love myself and I am a more confident person now (with all my imperfections) than I ever was, which brings me to the point of this blog.
In a relationship, how can you tell if he is the one?
Well here are some of the things that one should look for in a guy:
Okay! So before all the men who are reading this blog start feeling like some parameters are being set to judge them, Let me assure you, it is certainly not that kind of a post. These are some of the qualities that anyone looks for in their partner, I am just telling the part of the story from a girl’s perspective and this is just my point of view!
- How well do you Communicate with each other? I believe that this is the most important part in any relationship and if you can express yourself well in front of your partner and if he encourages you to open up and express your feelings and to share your ambitions and dreams with him, then he is a keeper.
- There are some people who just have such huge EGOs that they can’t really be happy if their partner is doing well in some field and they always feel the need to be superior in a relationship. For healthy relationships, it is important that you have someone who appreciates you and supports you through your career and genuinely feels happy for you when you are successful and is there for you when you fail at something.
- He loves you for who you are: He is a keeper if he loves you for who you are and doesn’t constantly keep trying to change you. Some guys want their girls to lose weight, dress in a certain way, walk and talk in a certain way and what not. I am not saying it is wrong to have a few preferences when you are seeking out a partner for yourself, but once you are in a relationship with someone, you can’t expect the other person to change according to your will. And if he is some one who puts a lot of restrictions on whom you should/shouldn’t talk to or hangout with, you are better off without him because initially it might seem like he is doing all this because he probably cares about you and a little jealousy is cute in a way, but there is a fine line and it becomes really suffocating to be in these kind of relationships.
- He is Reliable and respects you: Life is not always easy and once you are married it will get even more complicated and you need someone you can rely upon.Mutual respect is also a big factor when it comes to successful marriages and relationships. If you feel like he is someone who will take a stand for you(when needed) you have found a gem.
- You two have the basics sorted: In a relationship, it is important that both of you have similar interests when it comes to questions like “where do you want to settle down” or “how many kids do you want” etc and again communication plays a key role here and you need someone who shares similar values and who actually listens to what you have to say.
- He is Romantic: I know everyday can’t be special and everyday can’t be about those fancy candle night dinners but if every once in a while he surprises you with flowers or a dine out, then he is certainly a keeper.
Now even if do find someone who has all these qualities and maybe even a few more and someone who checks all the boxes in your checklist, then also there is one thing that you need to understand.
Being in love with someone for a long time requires a lot of efforts and once you start living with them you will find out a lot of things about them that annoy you, but loving someone is being able to look past these habits and trust me it is a lot of hard work. It is not that easy but it is worth it!
Oh and by the way, Prakash auntie is now my mother in law! 😀
And our mothers meet quite often now and usually talk about the two of us! I don’t mind it now 😛
Hope you enjoyed this post. Keep watching this space for more blogs!